Last night my grandmother called. We discussed the unfortunate situation of the babies in China poisoned by the formula. I lamented how I didn't understand why so many women in China use formula, and my grandmother replies (I kid you not):
"They probably have to use formula in China. All they eat is rice over there. They get no nutrition*, that's why their skin is so yellow."
THAT'S WHY THEIR SKIN IS SO YELLOW???????????? OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She honestly believes this!!! I don't even get it, kids.... I am at a loss.
*of course!
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Ello!
I'm just checking in to say hi! Things are going pretty well here. The gnome has started reaching and grabbing, which is great, except for when she tugs on my hair. She is still very cheery and agreeable, which i guess is the calm before the teething storm.
She has been very into her busy beads lately, and jams everything you give her into her mouth- including fingers. Yesterday we went to lunch with my friends from work and while riding in the back seat with her one of my friends, Katie, said that the gnome was trying to sneak Katie's hands into her mouth! She does it to me, too. It's funny- she's very sly about it. She'll slowly and calculatedly bring your fingers up to her mouth and then before you know it -bam! I'll be riding in the back seat with her and let her hold my hand and all of a sudden my finger will feel all wet and gooey and I'll realize she has jammed it into her mouth! Silly gnome!!!
What else, what else. Oh! So I did give a preemptive call to my mom about Sarah Palin. My mom doesn't always follow politics, and I didn't want her to see a woman and think "Oh look, a woman! I'll vote for her!" I know John McCain is counting on just that sort of woman, so if you know one, for fleck's sake clue her in! My mom would have voted for Hillary, so i had to be sure, but sure enough, trusty old mom said a guy at her office told her "women will vote for Palin because she's a woman, not because of her politics" and my mom told him he was an idiot. Go mom!
Speaking of Palin, if I were a republican woman, I'd be as offended as f**k. I mean jeez. At least pick someone with SOME experience who doesn't suck. To incinuate that women are that shallow... Ugh.
Well, some are, but those are the ones that are usually too self involved to vote anyways. Who needs 'em!
Oh, the other night we went to this record/bookstore down the street and I bought this book. An instant classic, and yes I will read it to the gnome! She needs to know!
She has been very into her busy beads lately, and jams everything you give her into her mouth- including fingers. Yesterday we went to lunch with my friends from work and while riding in the back seat with her one of my friends, Katie, said that the gnome was trying to sneak Katie's hands into her mouth! She does it to me, too. It's funny- she's very sly about it. She'll slowly and calculatedly bring your fingers up to her mouth and then before you know it -bam! I'll be riding in the back seat with her and let her hold my hand and all of a sudden my finger will feel all wet and gooey and I'll realize she has jammed it into her mouth! Silly gnome!!!
What else, what else. Oh! So I did give a preemptive call to my mom about Sarah Palin. My mom doesn't always follow politics, and I didn't want her to see a woman and think "Oh look, a woman! I'll vote for her!" I know John McCain is counting on just that sort of woman, so if you know one, for fleck's sake clue her in! My mom would have voted for Hillary, so i had to be sure, but sure enough, trusty old mom said a guy at her office told her "women will vote for Palin because she's a woman, not because of her politics" and my mom told him he was an idiot. Go mom!
Speaking of Palin, if I were a republican woman, I'd be as offended as f**k. I mean jeez. At least pick someone with SOME experience who doesn't suck. To incinuate that women are that shallow... Ugh.
Well, some are, but those are the ones that are usually too self involved to vote anyways. Who needs 'em!
Oh, the other night we went to this record/bookstore down the street and I bought this book. An instant classic, and yes I will read it to the gnome! She needs to know!
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
How it Went...
Well, gnomer had her 4mo checkup yesterday! She weighed 14.8 and is up to 24" long! She is doing great!!! I'm really happy :D
I finally decided since my mom was there that I'd just wait outside during the vaccines. Apparently, though, the gnome only cried @ the last shot and was done almost instantly! So maybe I *do* stress her out.
She did not develop a fever, and slept quite well afterwards...
Today, however... Today was one for the record books! After we dropped my mom off @ the airport, we went to the office for our weekly meeting. Gnomer ate @ 9:45 and *should* have been good 'til almost 1pm, but she instead decided that noon was lunchtime and a horrific meltdown (perhaps the one she didn't have yesterday) was in order. She was screaming so forcefully she wasn't inhaling and I could see her tonsils vibrating!!! She was so loud the entire company heard her, and they actually sent someone upstairs to the conference room to make sure everything was ok!
Once we got home gnomette was a bit less fussy, but generally she's been a crank all day. She got like this last time she had vaccines, too, so I guess we can expect this for month 6, also...
I finally decided since my mom was there that I'd just wait outside during the vaccines. Apparently, though, the gnome only cried @ the last shot and was done almost instantly! So maybe I *do* stress her out.
She did not develop a fever, and slept quite well afterwards...
Today, however... Today was one for the record books! After we dropped my mom off @ the airport, we went to the office for our weekly meeting. Gnomer ate @ 9:45 and *should* have been good 'til almost 1pm, but she instead decided that noon was lunchtime and a horrific meltdown (perhaps the one she didn't have yesterday) was in order. She was screaming so forcefully she wasn't inhaling and I could see her tonsils vibrating!!! She was so loud the entire company heard her, and they actually sent someone upstairs to the conference room to make sure everything was ok!
Once we got home gnomette was a bit less fussy, but generally she's been a crank all day. She got like this last time she had vaccines, too, so I guess we can expect this for month 6, also...
Monday, August 25, 2008
Anything but this.
So today is four days shy of the gnome's 4 month birthday, which of course means what else but the four-month checkup.
The horror.
The checkup is admittedly a few days early this month, due more in part to what's available at her pediatrician's than my or my husband's schedule. I am excited to see her height/weight and to hear if she's doing well or if I'm failing miserable with the nursing, but I am decidedly NOT excited about the end of the exam. AKA, the vaccines.
She is due for four more shots -two in each thigh- and maybe another oral vaccine, which is just liquid droppered into her mouth which doesn't bother her (though she spits it out as fast as it comes in...). The part everyone hates is the needles, of course. Luckily for me my mom is here until tomorrow and can go with us. I think I need the moral support more than the baby does! My husband has already insisted that I wait out in the waiting room til the shots are over. I want to be able to, but part of me feels insanely guilty about leaving her alone in there. Not that her father and grandmother won't be there, but as mommy it's my job to comfort her... I just feel so conflicted.
Last time I stayed and cried just as hard as she did. It was horrible and heartbreaking, and I have at least one new mom friend from my baby class that has her husband take their son to get his vaccines so she doesn't have to be in the same BUILDING. So I know its not just me and I'm not alone in being a bad mommy abandoning my baby in her darkest hour. Last time the gnome cried so hard she didn't even open her eyes so its not like she would have seen me and felt better. I tried telling her it was okay, but I doubt she could hear me over her own screams- she certainly didn't listen to me- my comforting words did nothing to calm her down.
I probably will not know what I'm doing until right up to the minute the shots are administered. As hard as it is for me to see her in pain, I am still her mother and I have to be the adult. But at the same time, I've only been a mom for less than 16 weeks. I'm new at this, so maybe someone could allow me a little leeway? My instincts tell me to protect my baby from harm and stop her from hurting- it goes against nature to just hand her over to a stranger and let them stab her repeatedly.
I just don't know what to do.
The horror.
The checkup is admittedly a few days early this month, due more in part to what's available at her pediatrician's than my or my husband's schedule. I am excited to see her height/weight and to hear if she's doing well or if I'm failing miserable with the nursing, but I am decidedly NOT excited about the end of the exam. AKA, the vaccines.
She is due for four more shots -two in each thigh- and maybe another oral vaccine, which is just liquid droppered into her mouth which doesn't bother her (though she spits it out as fast as it comes in...). The part everyone hates is the needles, of course. Luckily for me my mom is here until tomorrow and can go with us. I think I need the moral support more than the baby does! My husband has already insisted that I wait out in the waiting room til the shots are over. I want to be able to, but part of me feels insanely guilty about leaving her alone in there. Not that her father and grandmother won't be there, but as mommy it's my job to comfort her... I just feel so conflicted.
Last time I stayed and cried just as hard as she did. It was horrible and heartbreaking, and I have at least one new mom friend from my baby class that has her husband take their son to get his vaccines so she doesn't have to be in the same BUILDING. So I know its not just me and I'm not alone in being a bad mommy abandoning my baby in her darkest hour. Last time the gnome cried so hard she didn't even open her eyes so its not like she would have seen me and felt better. I tried telling her it was okay, but I doubt she could hear me over her own screams- she certainly didn't listen to me- my comforting words did nothing to calm her down.
I probably will not know what I'm doing until right up to the minute the shots are administered. As hard as it is for me to see her in pain, I am still her mother and I have to be the adult. But at the same time, I've only been a mom for less than 16 weeks. I'm new at this, so maybe someone could allow me a little leeway? My instincts tell me to protect my baby from harm and stop her from hurting- it goes against nature to just hand her over to a stranger and let them stab her repeatedly.
I just don't know what to do.
Friday, August 15, 2008
It's happening.
So the shedding thing that everyone warned me about? Totally happening. Lucky for me I have a ton of hair so I probably won't miss most of it, but its SO weird to see it all coming out into my comb. I've been finding my hairs in the gnome's balled fist for a week now, but it's really starting to fall out these past few days. It just looks scary. Ugh.
The gnome is doing well. Right now she's lying in the play yard and babbling away. She has really been trying to roll from her back to her belly, so we'll see if that happens soon. I am also sad because she's getting too long for her bassinet. I measured her today and she was 23"! I think she has another inch or so to go before she's simply too long for the bassinet and has to use her crib, which is in her own room. I'm really not ready to keep her so far away from me yet. I know I'll be up all night listening for her, and worrying about what might happen in her room without me there.
I know I need to let go eventually, but why is parenthood so damn hard????
The gnome is doing well. Right now she's lying in the play yard and babbling away. She has really been trying to roll from her back to her belly, so we'll see if that happens soon. I am also sad because she's getting too long for her bassinet. I measured her today and she was 23"! I think she has another inch or so to go before she's simply too long for the bassinet and has to use her crib, which is in her own room. I'm really not ready to keep her so far away from me yet. I know I'll be up all night listening for her, and worrying about what might happen in her room without me there.
I know I need to let go eventually, but why is parenthood so damn hard????
Monday, August 11, 2008
It happened.
So everything I prophesied about the gnome getting hungry during breakfast yesterday came true. No sooner did my meal arrive but I was out in the car nursing her. Fabulous. Then we went to dinner last night and the screaming started again. I tried nursing her (on the floor of the handicapped stall, natch) and she'd alternately drink and scream. I guess the tears weren't from hunger... I still don't know what was wrong, but it does seem to happen whenever there's company... I think she senses my stress level and acts accordingly. Anyways, the restaurant drama was terrible. My husband sent my MIL into the ladies room to look for me, and she told me she was there but then I thought she left, and for fifteen minutes I stayed with the gnome, feeding her and then dancing with her until she slept. and as I'm about to finally leave, my MIL is suddenly there saying "I'll take the diaper bag." Good timing, right?
Then we get out of the bathroom (me trailed by the MIL) and my husband ambushes his mother about where the hell she'd been for 20 minutes. Um, 20 minutes? She was there THE WHOLE TIME and I didn't know it. I mean, who knows what I said in my tear filled frustration. I was very quiet, but I believe pleas for help were issued to both gods and dead relatives... Oy. I thought after she finished talking to me, she left the room and came back, but she was there all along being quiet as a mouse...
Anyway my husband was FURIOUS that she didn't come back out and tell him what was going on, and he thought I knew she was in there and just didn't have the sense to send her out to check in with him. I don't know... His parents turn him into a different person sometimes. He loves them, but they make him a little jumpy. I guess a lot of peoples parents do that, though (or in my case, my grandmother). But he wasn't mad at me, and he apologized after we left the restaurant.
Everything went okay, I suppose. I think my MIL is really excited to be a grandmother, so sometimes she lets that get in the way of her better judgment, like when the baby is crying for food and she wants her to stay for one more kiss or to try playing on the play mat and maybe that will make her feel better. She also wanted me to keep putting different outfits on her, which gnome hates, but we obliged a few times to keep the peace. I know I should have refused, but the gnome was agreeable most times, so I just played along. They want to come back this winter, so hopefully by then gnomer will be feeling better and be more game for dress-up and all of that.
I will say, though, it was really hard at times. It's still hard for me to hand my child off to others for long periods of time, and its really hard for me to ride in the car and not be the one sitting with her in the back seat. I can now definitely say that I know how those mother tigers feel when they kill people for getting too close to their cubs. I wish it weren't so, but it is. I'm just not ready to let her go yet!
Then we get out of the bathroom (me trailed by the MIL) and my husband ambushes his mother about where the hell she'd been for 20 minutes. Um, 20 minutes? She was there THE WHOLE TIME and I didn't know it. I mean, who knows what I said in my tear filled frustration. I was very quiet, but I believe pleas for help were issued to both gods and dead relatives... Oy. I thought after she finished talking to me, she left the room and came back, but she was there all along being quiet as a mouse...
Anyway my husband was FURIOUS that she didn't come back out and tell him what was going on, and he thought I knew she was in there and just didn't have the sense to send her out to check in with him. I don't know... His parents turn him into a different person sometimes. He loves them, but they make him a little jumpy. I guess a lot of peoples parents do that, though (or in my case, my grandmother). But he wasn't mad at me, and he apologized after we left the restaurant.
Everything went okay, I suppose. I think my MIL is really excited to be a grandmother, so sometimes she lets that get in the way of her better judgment, like when the baby is crying for food and she wants her to stay for one more kiss or to try playing on the play mat and maybe that will make her feel better. She also wanted me to keep putting different outfits on her, which gnome hates, but we obliged a few times to keep the peace. I know I should have refused, but the gnome was agreeable most times, so I just played along. They want to come back this winter, so hopefully by then gnomer will be feeling better and be more game for dress-up and all of that.
I will say, though, it was really hard at times. It's still hard for me to hand my child off to others for long periods of time, and its really hard for me to ride in the car and not be the one sitting with her in the back seat. I can now definitely say that I know how those mother tigers feel when they kill people for getting too close to their cubs. I wish it weren't so, but it is. I'm just not ready to let her go yet!
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Vicious Cycles.
Never are the inconvenient patterns of nursing ever so apparent as when there are guests. I shouldn't even "blame" it on nursing, really, but this is how it goes.
-I need to eat to make milk
-I need to feed the baby every 3 hours
-If I don't eat between those hours, I don't have enough milk for the baby.
The problem with guests is that they don't understand this, so for example, this morning, everyone was up before me, but decided to take their time getting dressed and showered. Most days I don't get a shower because I have too much work and getting the gnome ready takes up any free time I have. (This is partly what caused the cyst, but I digress). So what happened is, the guests decided to wait until AFTER I finally got ready to get ready, and before they even started were like "lets go to breakfast!"
I love going to breakfast. Unfortunately, though, and hour had already passed and so now its less than two before the gnome needs to eat and we have 3 people needing showers. Meanwhile i've been ready to go for 30 minutes, and I'm starving. So if we wait much longer not only can't we go because the gnome will be hungry, but I'm starving and probably have no milk whatsoever to give her. I hate to be a bitch about it, but it's really not fair.
Yesterday we went out and my MIL made the comment that since I'm not pregnant anymore, the fact that I'm hungry isn't as big of a deal, because I "can wait." In theory, yes... But it just shows how little people "get" breastfeeding. Milk doesn't just magically appear. As much as my grandmother drove me crazy during her visit, she had a point. When you're nursing you need nutrition- you need food to create milk, and the healthier the food the better. So now I have about 90 minutes before gnome wakes up screaming for food, and we still have one shower to go before everyone is ready. Then watch- I'll have to put the gnome (who is now sleeping peacefully in her bassinet) into the carseat and everyone will huff and puff at me for being so slow. WTF?
Yesterday had its own challenges. The gnome has been hungrier than usual. It's weird how she goes in cycles. For a few weeks now she's barely wanted any food, and yesterday she got fed three times in as many hours because she was literally screaming for more. It's scary. I guess she must be in a growth spurt. We took her to the flea market yesterday and while she was there she got hungry. I didn't want to do it, but i packed formula just in case, and i tried giving it to her there but she flat out refused it. I tried it again and again, and nothing. She will NOT drink that stuff anymore, which i guess is flattering. But we ended up at a baby store across the street from the flea market and used their nursing room so I could feed her in some semblance of privacy. They also had scales there, so we weighed her- she was 13.13. I guess that's big. Explains why her diapers are too small, but I still think it seems low. She gained 3 pounds in a bit over a month, though, so that's probably good. But I would hope she was closer to 15 pounds by now, but I guess since she was eating so little before...
Usually in the mornings I'm so full she only needs one side before she's done eating, but this morning I gave her both sides and she didn't stop me. Hopefully she'll be satisfied a bit longer today, if I can generate enough milk by then. It's now 9:26 and she's going to want food at 11... We're waiting on my husband, who knows all of this. It's not his fault, and if he doesn't think we can make it he'll say something before we go, but at this point I'm so hungry I'm going insane. I am one of those people who wakes up starving and *has* to eat, or all hell breaks loose. I am more of a morning person, just as the gnome seems to be. Lucky me! She's as cranky at night as I am, which is more than anyone deserves! My poor husband. If he weren't taking so long right now I'd feel bad for him...
-I need to eat to make milk
-I need to feed the baby every 3 hours
-If I don't eat between those hours, I don't have enough milk for the baby.
The problem with guests is that they don't understand this, so for example, this morning, everyone was up before me, but decided to take their time getting dressed and showered. Most days I don't get a shower because I have too much work and getting the gnome ready takes up any free time I have. (This is partly what caused the cyst, but I digress). So what happened is, the guests decided to wait until AFTER I finally got ready to get ready, and before they even started were like "lets go to breakfast!"
I love going to breakfast. Unfortunately, though, and hour had already passed and so now its less than two before the gnome needs to eat and we have 3 people needing showers. Meanwhile i've been ready to go for 30 minutes, and I'm starving. So if we wait much longer not only can't we go because the gnome will be hungry, but I'm starving and probably have no milk whatsoever to give her. I hate to be a bitch about it, but it's really not fair.
Yesterday we went out and my MIL made the comment that since I'm not pregnant anymore, the fact that I'm hungry isn't as big of a deal, because I "can wait." In theory, yes... But it just shows how little people "get" breastfeeding. Milk doesn't just magically appear. As much as my grandmother drove me crazy during her visit, she had a point. When you're nursing you need nutrition- you need food to create milk, and the healthier the food the better. So now I have about 90 minutes before gnome wakes up screaming for food, and we still have one shower to go before everyone is ready. Then watch- I'll have to put the gnome (who is now sleeping peacefully in her bassinet) into the carseat and everyone will huff and puff at me for being so slow. WTF?
Yesterday had its own challenges. The gnome has been hungrier than usual. It's weird how she goes in cycles. For a few weeks now she's barely wanted any food, and yesterday she got fed three times in as many hours because she was literally screaming for more. It's scary. I guess she must be in a growth spurt. We took her to the flea market yesterday and while she was there she got hungry. I didn't want to do it, but i packed formula just in case, and i tried giving it to her there but she flat out refused it. I tried it again and again, and nothing. She will NOT drink that stuff anymore, which i guess is flattering. But we ended up at a baby store across the street from the flea market and used their nursing room so I could feed her in some semblance of privacy. They also had scales there, so we weighed her- she was 13.13. I guess that's big. Explains why her diapers are too small, but I still think it seems low. She gained 3 pounds in a bit over a month, though, so that's probably good. But I would hope she was closer to 15 pounds by now, but I guess since she was eating so little before...
Usually in the mornings I'm so full she only needs one side before she's done eating, but this morning I gave her both sides and she didn't stop me. Hopefully she'll be satisfied a bit longer today, if I can generate enough milk by then. It's now 9:26 and she's going to want food at 11... We're waiting on my husband, who knows all of this. It's not his fault, and if he doesn't think we can make it he'll say something before we go, but at this point I'm so hungry I'm going insane. I am one of those people who wakes up starving and *has* to eat, or all hell breaks loose. I am more of a morning person, just as the gnome seems to be. Lucky me! She's as cranky at night as I am, which is more than anyone deserves! My poor husband. If he weren't taking so long right now I'd feel bad for him...
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